I grew up in a small town in northwestern Ontario where there are literally more moose per square kilometer than there are people. We played in the bush and lived off the land. It was our way of life.
So, living in the city is sometimes challenging. But even in the city, I have found that I can embrace the wonderful ways our lives intersect with the natural world. Sometimes this can be a joyful experience and sometimes it can be frustrating.
The Joyful Part of My Day
I have a lovely water feature in my backyard that pours water out of a large spout. I’ve often seen the hummingbirds come and feed off the flowers that I planted specifically for them. I saw something even more remarkable.
I was taking a moment to simply gaze at my beautiful backyard from my upstairs bedroom window. I saw a hummingbird fly straight towards the water fountain. Flapping its wings at incredible speed, it hovered above the water flow and took a drink. As I watched her, she did something amazing.
She seemed to sit herself on top of the water and just enjoy the cold stream flowing along the lower part of her body. She did it over and over again, drinking and bathing in this flow of water. Once she was done, she flew upwards towards where I was standing as if to say thank you and then flew off.
In that moment, I felt so alive and I felt so grateful that I was sober and present enough to have this marvelous and simple experience with one of God’s beautiful creations.
The Frustrating Part
A few hours later I had a completely different experience with another of God’s creatures.
I made myself a healthy lunch which included a veggie burger (no bun, which is important to the story). I put it outside on my backyard table and went inside to get something. As soon as I abandoned my plate, a crow flew down and grabbed my burger and flew away. I ran out yelling at him to “put that back” and “how dare you!”
My neighbor came outside in alarm, wondering what had happened – thinking I was being robbed or assaulted! “Well yes, sort of,” I said. It was my lunch that I was robbed of and for a few minutes I was totally unhinged. I eventually resigned myself to having to start over but this time I made sure I did NOT leave my plate unattended. (I noticed that crow hovering on the roof waiting for another opportunity).
Staying Steady in the Ups and Downs of Life
Now, I get that this is not a big, life-shattering loss. And yet, there are lessons here that can be applied across the board when we face life in recovery.
For me, it’s about working to maintain our emotional balance.
When I was still in my addiction or even earlier on in my sobriety, I was not emotionally healthy. When I’m not present and emotionally balanced, I will totally miss the hummingbird bathing incident because I will be too busy doing “more important” things, running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I am either trying to impress someone or I’m preoccupied with ruminations about how I’m going to be more or be better.
And if the crow took my burger, well, I would be so pissed it would ruin my entire day. I would be telling anyone who would listen just how awful life treated me and what a total victim I am.
Building Resources for Emotional Balance
But today, that is far from my reality. I have learned how to go with the flow of life. And that bad things happen to good people. None of us gets a pass on ‘life on life’s terms’.
Sober or not, life doesn’t always go the way we wish it could be. When you work on your emotional sobriety, it’s possible to be awake to the beauty around you and to accept when something difficult shows up. Acceptance is the key.
Are Your Resources in Place?
Ask yourself the following questions:
- Do I have 2-3 trusted friends in recovery or supportive of my sobriety that I can call any time of the day or night?
- Have I accepted my own limitations and consequently am not so hard on myself?
- Have I sought out and put into practice self-soothing and self-regulation techniques, so that I can calm myself down when I am upset?
If you can answer ‘yes’ to the above questions, then it will be easier for you to adjust your emotional dials, being the best version of yourself, despite life’s challenges.
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